Shadow Hunters

Difficult Thoughts

A shifter's thoughts

The gnome finishes her preparations for the night and finally heads for the door. But when she opens the door a shifter greets her, dejected and crumpled before the doorway, a many-creased, much-read letter in her hands and a small kitten on her lap. The gnome sighs and gently helps her inside, letting the door close behind them.

I don’t know what to do, the shifter finally confides. She sits on the edge of the bed, letter still in hand, kitten sniffing the bed coverings. I can’t stop thinking.

With no jokes or teasing, the gnome carefully puts her arms around the other’s shoulders. The shifter pulls her legs up; heels on the bed, chin on her knees, and the gnome suggests that, perhaps, getting the thoughts out might help.

And so eventually she finds the shifter a piece of paper and a quill, and keeps her distance, kitten on her lap, but ready should the young woman ask for her.

Shera Shira says its important to rite write down your thawts thoughts when you have to many, so Im going to try writeing writing things. But its really hard if I can only think of two things over and over and over again.

Shira says to start at the beginning. I don’t know where that is but I’ll try. Well actually I gess guess that’s the bath. Ever since then I’ve been confused. Wait no, since Miria started talking about Ladyfriends.

I really want to talk to her again. Have a really long talk. She said Ladyfriends meant different things, but she also said True Love, but she also told Sukava Sucaeva it wasn’t like him and Shira so I don’t know what to feel. I was really, really happy though when she kissed me. Even though she said she wished I was human.

And I know the reesons you gave and I know they make sense but your going to change Lenthia Lensa Lencia right? So then shifters would be ok there, right? And I would help fight Mordred! I killed him. Sucaeva said vampyrs go to smoke when they die but then you have to stake them. I didn’t stake him but I turned him to smoke! He grabbed you and I was so angry I didn’t care if he killed me but I was going to make him drop you and I did! I know I’m not strong like a fighter and I can’t heel or do those things like the paladins you love but I’m not useless right?!

Small, gentle hands press on her shoulders. The shifter lifts her quill from the hole she tore in the paper and quickly wipes at her face. Only when her breath comes naturally again does the gnome back away.

And I didn’t even get to properly explane myself. I tried in the bath and almost did in the hall but then she said I love You and kissed me and then we were moving and I never properly said anything.

…I want to go to Lencia. I can’t be a human, and I don’t want to be and I really don’t like that you would wish such a thing but I’ll learn to wear a dress and I’ll be a refined lady like Shira. I won’t give any reeson for anyone to think badly of me. Would you let me come then?

Shira says there will always be people who go away, and I know that, but.. She also says it usually gets easier to deel with but it’ll take me longer, maybe. This is like when Stride died. And I really liked Stride because he was the first shifter I met outside my tribe and he was kind and smart and really made me think why I called Melora my god. And I miss him so much but this is different.

I love all the Shadow Hunters, even Tex. …Although I don’t really know why. But its different for each person. And I do miss Tex and I’m sad her and Miria couldn’t get along although I understand why, but. I want Miria back. I keep thinking I’ll sneak away and find Lencia myself. Sucaeva would hate me for it and so would Miria but I want to.

…But then who would protect Sucave and Shira? Without you around I’m the only one who can protect them. So then Im back to not knowing what to do.

…I don’t think writing helps.

The shifter sets down the quill and fiddles with the papers. Silence hangs heavy in the room until she stands and hugs the gnome. The kitten mews softly and the shifter finally lets go her vice-like grip to pick up the small nameless one. She stands about, unsure what to do, and then finally mumbles her thanks and an apology. The gnome offers her room and company, but the shifter simply smiles and shakes her head and lets herself out. She forsakes her own room and instead enters the fighter’s, cold and unused, and curls up atop the sheets, both letters in hand and a kitten at her throat, but no sleep comes.

Comments

Well done! Now if we can get that secretive gnome to write something. I’m talking to you bard!

This was much anticipated. Good job

Difficult Thoughts
 

I’m working on it! :P

Difficult Thoughts
squeakchan

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